The first ritual in the process of marriage is celebration of the Nichayartham (settling the marriage). There are two types of Nichayarthams. The first one is a legal contract between the families of the groom and the bride which is entered into by the elders of the family well ahead of the marriage. The second Nichayartham is a religious ceremony and usually takes place on the day prior to the Muhurtham.
The dates of Nichayartham as well as marriage are chosen based on the birth star of the girl. Nichayartham is usually held in the evening hours in the house of the girl or a relative of the girl’s parents or in a community/public hall. Only the very close relatives take part in this function. The groom’s parents buy a silk sari as well as an item of jewellery for the girl. They also bring trays bearing fruits, dry fruits, candy, sugar etc. The number of trays is expected to be an odd number – usually 15 or more.
The religious part of the ceremony is brief. The priests from both sides sit with the elders of the family of both the bride and the groom and draw up the ‘Lagna pathirigai’ (wedding card) for the bride’s as well as the groom’s side. This is written inTamil and mainly shows the date and time of the Muhurtham. The time within which the main ritual of Muhurtham has to be completed is called Muhurtha Kalam, which is three and three fourth Nazahigai (Nazhigai is an ancient measure of time and each Nazhigai is 24 minutes thus making the Muhurtha kalam to be one and a half hours). Other details like place of marriage, the Acharya (teacher) of the family etc. are also shown in the ‘Lagnapathirigai’.
The ‘Lagna pathirigai’ is then exchanged by the parents of both the groom and the bride. The ‘Lagna pathirigai’ forms the basis for printing ‘Manjal Pathirigai’ which means ‘yellow card’ and is not to be confused with an yellow journal! This is the wedding invitation printed in Tamil with yellow background on one side and in English or Tamil with red (pink) background on the other side. Yellow and red are auspicious colours. Usually this card is sent to all elders. In the olden days, the groom was not expected to attend this Nichayathartham. But nowadays, the groom also takes part in the function for whom the girl’s parents buy a set of new clothes. After the exchange of ‘Lagna pathirigai’, both the boy and the girl are formally presented to the relatives of both sides and receive their blessings.
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